Children
Hello, I'm STAR
To help guide you in your journey, we would like to introduce you to Star who will be with you every step of the way. We have chosen the name Star as it is considered a symbol of truth, spirit, and hope. Stars are also symbolic of divine guidance and protection, which is our aim, accompanying you on a journey within this website, towards your recovery.
Truth is about acknowledging what happened to you.
Spirit is about you having the courage on your journey towards healing.
Hope is about you living a life in the present and not in the past.
As a child you can experience difficult and sometimes frightening events which are called traumas, which can make you feel sad. These can sometimes be something that happened once, or something that happened time and time again.
Here are some examples of what might have happened:
Death of someone special to you
This can feel very scary and your whole body can be affected.
You can have many different feelings
How Are You Feeling Today?
Angry
Annoyed
Bored
Surprised
It is normal to feel many of these feelings for a long time after the event. Point to the feeling above with your parent/carer to help them understand how you are feeling right now. Use this time to share how you are both feeling.
This list gives you an idea of the different ways you can be affected by terrible things that may have happened to you:
- Scared to go to sleep
- Bad dreams
- Memories of the terrible thing
- Jumpy and nervous
- Feel sick
- Have headaches or stomach aches
- Feeling worried that it will happen again
- Feeling different from your friends
- Worried that people will find out
- Thinking that people will not believe you
Talk with your parent, carer or a trusted adult about which ones you are feeling, this will help you understand what you are going through, they will then be able to help you.
Ways to Feel Happier and to Heal
Knowing you feel loved and safe helps you start to feel better.
Here are stories of the importance of feeling loved and a story of how you can feel safe even when you are away from the people who you feel safest with.
Understanding Bad Dreams and Nightmares
When a terrible thing has happened, when we sleep, our dreaming part of our brain can go through all of the things that we have experienced when the terrible thing happened.
Our dreams help us understand what has happened to us, sometimes this can be a mixed up and strange, but helps us learn how to keep safe, even overcome our thoughts and feelings about the terrible things.
Relaxation
Looking after ourselves and keeping healthy is important. Sleep and relaxation helps us to feel happy and safe. Being scared all the time is not good for our minds or our bodies, learning to relax will help you forget about the terrible thing that happened.
Understanding Feelings
Understanding why you are feeling, thinking, and behaving differently can be scary and confusing. Sometimes our emotions become all mixed up; this story helps us understand our feelings.
Feeling Angry and Grumpy
Having difficult days sometimes is tough and can make us feel sad. Our special people who love and keep us safe understand that on these days we need some extra love and support. We can have difficult feelings, which means we can have difficult behaviours; this is not your fault.
Taking Back Control
Now you can understand that because a terrible thing happened that your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours have changed. Life can feel difficult and this is not your fault. It is time for you to begin to get control back, to enjoy your life, to feel happy, to trust people, to feel safe and to feel loved and to love others.
Bad Days
Sometimes Star has feelings as if going back to when it all happened. Something may have triggered Star to feel like this, just like it might for you. This may be something in the present that reminds you of the past, special dates such as birthdays, a car journey or school holidays may remind you of the terrible thing. This is not you going backwards, it is a small moment in time when you are feeling as if you are back in the place where the terrible thing happened, we have named this as having a ‘wobble’ just like jelly.
I would like you to think of life similar to playing snakes and ladders. Sometimes you may have good days and it feels like you are moving up the ladder and you are a winner, which makes you happy and excited about life. Sometimes, little things in life can upset you and then you may feel like you are sliding down the snakes towards the bottom, bump, bump, bump and that can make you feel sad and scared.
Moving towards the top of the game and winning does not seem possible, and you feel like giving up.
This is when you might have a little wobble. Star sometimes has a little wobble, but Star does not fall down. The wobble will slow down until it stops.
After a terrible thing has happened, you may have a little wobble, but just like Star, after a short time, it will stop, and you can move back up the ladder and be happy again. This is normal following a terrible thing that has happened to you. When it happens to you, think of Star who healed. You have healed, and this feeling will go away. Remember, you are strong and courageous, you are a superhero.
A Final Task
Draw your superhero self. Think about what you are wearing and write what superhero skills you have
Draw your superhero shield. On a piece of paper, think about what shape it is, what it could be made of, is there anything written on it?
What colour is it?
Once you have drawn it, I would like you to close your eyes and imagine holding this shield.
Now you can use this superhero shield to keep scary thoughts or feelings away and send them into outer space!